December 26th, 2010


It's over.

So it's over, I guess.  Lucifer is...well he's gone.  No one's sure where or whether he's actually, y'know, dead - even Castiel's not sure.  Maybe he's in that cage, the one in that other universe where - where that other me was locked up too.  I don't know.  I guess we'll never know.

To be honest, I don't care.

Haris is gone, Lucifer is gone.  And my family's still here.  

Does that mean I'm finally free of that dark destiny that seems to have been shadowing me my whole life?  I don't know that either.  I do know I'll always have that something inside of me, that part of the curse.  But it doesn't have to be a curse.  I can still help save people.

I guess that's what we'll do, me and Dean.  When we've regrouped a little.  I want to spend some time with Dad and Bonnie.  And with Sarah.  I want to spend a lot of time with Sarah.  I finally feel as if it's safe for me to be with her, you know?  That I won't blink and she'll be on fire on the ceiling, just because she got too close to me.

For the first time in my life I feel safe.

Maybe me and Dean can still hunt part time.  There's still evil in the world, even if the Nexus seemed to drag back all the demons that came through from those other universes.  Honestly, I don't really know how to do anything else.  And Dean?  Well Dean always has to be a hero, even if he doesn't know he's doing it.  And he's been doing it since he was four years old.

I remember saying once that when we finally killed the Yellow Eyed Demon I'd sleep for a week.  Well I never did get to sleep for a week, but right now?  With Sarah in my arms and Dean and Dad and my friends and family around me?

Yeah, maybe it's time I slept in.
  • Current Music
    Lullaby - Shawn Mullins

Yeah, suck on THAT, Lucifer!

Sam is such a girl sometimes.

He keeps grabbing hold of me and hugging me right when I'm not expecting it.  And, yeah, I'm not exactly Smurf-sized, but the guy is as big as a friggin' house dammit!  I'm gonna be counting bruises for a month.

So yeah, we survived the Stull Apocalypse.  I think Sam's kinda overly-grateful, although to be honest he's the one we should all be grateful to.  Sure, I might have been the one who actually stuck it to the Devil, but I could never have done that if Sammy hadn't done what he did, controlling everyone's power like that.  Angel, demon, Einherjar.  

When did my little bro suddenly turn into a such a big damn hero?

Maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention.  Seems like only five minutes ago he was playing with army men and Lego.

Anyway.  Now I sound like a damn girl.

I guess I'm just... happy, I guess.  And it seems like such a long time ago I felt like this.  Really, truly happy.

I could sleep for a week.

Sammy said that once.  Now it feels like it actually might happen.

Of course, we've got some serious celebrating to do before then.  And I'd like to spend some time with Dad and Bonnie and my family.  It's good to see Sammy with Sarah.  I told him years ago he ought to marry that girl.  I'm hoping Bobby might come with us to Lynchburg.  Wouldn't be a family gathering without the old coot.  And I want to introduce him to that Guardian guy - Turner, I think his name is.  Rufus Turner, maybe?  I think the two of them would get on like a house on fire.

Anyway, I'm yammering on like that girly vamp in that girly vamp TV show yammers on in his girly vamp diary.

Enough of this.  I got a bottle of Jack with my name on it.  Well actually, it's got Jack's name on it, but if they called it Dean I don't think anyone would buy it.  But what do I know?  Dean Winchester on the rocks.  Shaken not stirred.  With Coke.  Okay, that's maybe a little girly after all.

We just saved the world.  

I'm outta here.
  • Current Music
    Sympathy for the Devil (Not!) - The Rolling Stones